Each of us believes in miracles. Each to his own. Everything is like in the good old song from our Soviet past. When miracles don’t happen, it hurts. In general, it’s about addiction. About the dependent type of thinking. Mature human thinking includes the following components: Objectivity (without distorting the vision of reality); Sanity, logic and prudence; The ability to rise above a problem (abstraction); A clear algorithm of actions (from systematizing knowledge about life experience to consistent problem solving). As for dependent thinking, here is the complete set: Illusory perception (the tendency to perceive wishful thinking); Pseudologic (for example, “if they once helped me get out of a difficult situation, then it will always be like this”); Inability to break down a problem into a number of small and minute ones steps due to the fact that the dependent person does not see them Dominance of magical thinking (I would use the term “pseudo-magical”) thinking, when a person is literally dependent on forecasts, layouts, omens and false superstitions. Obsession and return of problems, for example, when an unpleasant situation has possible decision, a person again after some time steps on the same rake, which creates chaos in him, unwillingness to look for a way out, or the person continues to wait and believe in a miracle. Reluctance and unwillingness to face the most negative experience, I would say, delaying this particular experience provokes a person to some completely illogical actions. For example, instead of accepting reality, realizing one’s addiction, creating an intention (literally “mastering an intention”), a person continues to build castles in the air and wait for the wizard in a blue helicopter, hoping for help. Dependence on a miracle is an addiction quite similar to drugs, alcoholic...It is also not easy to overcome. An ecologization of thinking is required, based on a deep study of the problem: The actual study of the problem (“I really live in castles in the air,” I build illusions, etc.) Can I separate myself from this problem? Am I able to rise above it, like an architect above his project, and from the height of my growth look at what I am missing? This is a long way. The most important thing is to trust a specialist here, so as not to step on the old rake and not aggravate the situation. The main thing is to understand that dependence on a miracle that does not happen is exactly what you need to work through and this is exactly your point of growth. Before contacting a psychologist, I recommend writing down several points in which you analyze your own thinking. A written analysis of your situation will help both you and the psychologist quickly deal with the problem and get rid of misconceptions. The reproduction below by Pieter Bruegel the Elder “Hunters in the Snow” reflects a rather realistic, but harsh life. It has everything - difficulty, tension, peace, clarity of vision of the situation, and even the ability to rise above the problem. What do you see in the picture?) Sincerely, psychologist Nadezhda Vyacheslavovna Arkhangelskaya Pieter Bruegel Hunters in the Snow. If you feel like you are in a vicious circle, feel dependent on your experiences, you do not understand your partner’s behavior, sign up for online consultations or WhatsApp 8 927 282 38 78