How often do you find yourself afraid to express emotions? What if they don’t understand? They will understand, but not like that! What if I hurt another person? I'll look funny/stupid/scary! Or I’ll completely lose my human appearance in fits of rage... Wow! We’ve all been told since childhood: DON’T cry! Do not scream! Do not laugh! They undoubtedly did this with the best intentions. In our culture, it is not customary to cultivate emotions. More precisely, there is no culture to recognize and express these emotions in an environmentally friendly way. By adapting to the system, we choose the strategies that are most comfortable for us. For example, I will show emotions selectively. I will give the green light to all “positive” feelings. But the “prickly” ones, not desirable by society, outwardly I’ll put them on “stop.” Another position is to suppress absolutely all of your manifestations inside. Yes, yes, and joy, and pleasure, and even love. Both cases are fraught with psychosomatic diseases, we talked about this yesterday. And today – about how to express “negative” emotions without negative consequences for yourself and others. Let's look at the example of a quarrel between lovers. Husband and wife. She wants to go to a disco with her friend. He expresses resistance. Step 1. It is important to be able to recognize an emotion. Track it within yourself. Realize: “Yes, I feel irritated. Yes, I can feel it. Yes, I have the right to do so." Step 2. Don’t put off experiencing emotions until later. Don’t “drive” it into yourself until better times / when the storms subside / when there is a reason. No! Only here and now. So as not to return to shoveling negativity again and again. Step 3. Try not to identify yourself with the emotion. Take the position of an outside observer. It’s as if you see this picture on a TV screen through the viewfinder. Describe the situation objectively. “I see that you are jealous of me, so you don’t want me to go to the disco.” “I see that you are worried about my safety, so you don’t want to let me go.” Step 4. Express to your partner the feeling that you experienced. As accurately and simply as possible so that he can understand it, but without exaggerating it. “I feel that you are jealous of me. And I don’t like it, as if you don’t trust me.” Step 5. Try to express your emotion on a physical level. This does not mean that you need to attack your husband with your fists or break dishes. Your task is to prevent a block at the physical level. Therefore, reinforce the emotion with facial expressions and gestures. Express it. And then straighten your shoulders and smile)) Step 6. Say what you want in this regard. “I wish we could trust each other” Step 7. Listen to your partner and tell him that you understand him. Remember that no one can understand your feelings and experiences better than you yourself! But these 7 steps will help make the relationship more understandable and trusting. Good luck to you in mastering technology and vivid emotions!