Accepting responsibility is the main principle of family life. But what if the partner is not ready and does not want to bear this responsibility? This is exactly what you need to pay attention to before you go to the registry office and you will have fun at the wedding. This especially applies to the man you choose. His responsibility is fundamental in creating a family, because he is the head. What are girls and women looking at now? Appearance, car, apartment, clothes, income... - an external image that is promoted with dexterity and perfection. And why suddenly so much surprise when the masks fall off and your chosen one easily runs after every “queen” passing by or disappears when faced with difficulties and problems that exist in the life of every married couple. We chose one and got the desired result. Now it is fashionable to develop consumer qualities in humanity, to advertise any manifestations of life as a product, killing and keeping silent about common sense, as long as there is interest and beautiful packaging. What is it for? What are the criteria for assessing the need, further history, development - this is not important, the main thing is to sell in pursuit of an external assessment. So we find ourselves in a situation: if it flashes, you grab it, and then how lucky you are. Lucky, unfortunately, is rare in the lottery. Responsibility is such a global concept that it also includes the attitude to business, to one’s word, to family, etc. ., this is not control, but possession of the ability to manage your life, create your own scenario and bring it to life. And for a lasting marriage this is quite enough. Of course, you ask: “What about feelings, love, passion?” After all, I want to have a strong and happy family. And you will be absolutely right. After all, there is no need to enter into a marriage without sympathy; all calculations will go to hell if your emotions are completely excluded. But don't confuse love and passion. Passion overshadows the mind, you live with your body and emotions, but love, true love, where there is a place for friendship, respect, acceptance of each other’s otherness, support, etc. – this is born gradually, comes over time, as we get to know each other and deepen the relationship. But then, such love is eternal. Therefore, take your time, take a closer look at your chosen one, it is possible that there is not that passion that is described in books, but there is sympathy and many points of contact, then this is a chance that LOVE can be born, that feeling that will make you and your marriage united happy. Let's return to the first part of this article. Irina K. (Krasnodar) I quickly got married for great love, I have been married for 5 years, there is a child, but there is no happiness, and my love disappeared during the first year. What to do? Divorce? What if you’re unlucky again? Yes, the situation of choice arises again, you need to make a decision again. There are very difficult life situations when the husband beats, drinks, walks, doesn’t work and doesn’t help in any way around the house, humiliates and even “life is not nice” but she cannot make the decision to leave. She cannot make the RIGHT decision for herself, just as she could not make it before when she got married, hoping that she would be lucky, burning with passion, or for other reasons. I often hear: “It’s not me, but life is like that.” That life broke and suddenly, instead of a human face, an “animal face” appeared. But we know from the school physics course the law of conservation of energy: “Energy does not disappear, but passes into another form,” and new things do not arise from nothing. Certain signs of behavior are always present in a person, only if you are blinded by passion or your own thoughts, this is not noticed, or there is no desire to notice and you really need to get married. And when everything is already clear and, it would seem, this is the solution, get ready and leave, no, they again close their eyes and look for various excuses. They begin to say that the family must be saved. Although there is actually no family. And she's afraid to be alone. It’s amazing, what kind of person do you have to be, what’s scary about yourself? And they often begin to talk and try on the aura of martyrdom and sacrifice. Here he is, and I am a “saint”)