From the author: There is no family crisis. There has never been a normal family institution. Therefore, we will have to urgently solve this problem. Almost no one argues with the thesis that a crisis of family and marriage has arrived. It would be worth it! In fact, he did not attack, but simply manifested himself. We remember Tolstoy, who said that all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way. Then Lev Nikolaevich became more categorical and in the “Kreutzer Sonata” he went through the mores of the sphere of relations of the 19th century. His diagnosis was based on two factors - lust and calculation. So that everything doesn’t look disgusting, men and women play a stupid game that makes lust look like romance, and calculation looks like nepotism and seriousness. Tolstoy's testimony comes to us from that time, which is often cited as an example today. Like, then there were family traditions, but today there are none, so we should all return to the model of relationships of our great-grandmothers and great-grandfathers. But what kind of relationship were they? At that time, family was a way to survive and run a household. Having many children turned out to be a chance to leave offspring and have many workers in agriculture. To step outside the confines of marriage meant exposing oneself to unbearable condemnation. People who created families in the USSR admitted that they often got married in their youth, because... it was a socially approved way to get a permanent sexual partner, in which one could worry less about the future of children. The postmodern era, with its deconstruction, did not destroy the family. It simply deprived her of those external supports of fear and survival. Today you can survive and be successful alone. There is no need to take anyone into account. There is no need to constantly transform yourself. Our culture came out of Christianity. The path of the family in Christianity is not similar to “Domostroy” and the traditional way of life. On the contrary, it is like a revolution in which the external is destroyed in the same way as in the postmodern era. The Apostle Paul offers a choice - the path of loneliness leading to God (later called monastic) and the path of family. From this perspective, family becomes a spiritual practice. This is transformation, the becoming of two as one flesh, the feat of acceptance, the intersection of love and responsibility. This is a guarantee that it will be very difficult for the two, but they are given to each other to help the one who has stumbled to rise. What is a close relationship in a couple? I think we are all familiar with the fact that when we communicate with a person for a very long time and openly, we gradually begin to experience various contradictory and difficult feelings. The otherness of others tests us. We selfishly want to see others as we want them to be. The romantic flair hides the differences, but then we are faced with them. This is where the demons in the soul are resurrected: controllers, villains, cheaters, cowards. Everyone defends themselves from the conflict of differences as they wish, but does not want to sacrifice their own principles one iota. Or vice versa - he cowardly compromises with everyone and is forced to endure enslavement. Our society has gradually taught men to enslave and women to be enslaved. Today we suffer a lot of pain from this. Women, having become liberated, also wanted to take revenge and enslave. The war of the sexes has begun. The same thing with parenthood. Every child is a stranger. His personality will gradually be revealed to us. He will never become what we want him to be. Even as a baby, he will confuse all our plans. You can, of course, start enslaving children or, conversely, let the whole process of education take its course. But will this add happiness to the family? For now I will say only one word: awareness. With awareness comes responsibility. Every family is a place in which, by being present, we have the opportunity to transform and become better, but all this will happen if we are able to honestly look into the eyes of our own monsters. Family relationships will plunge us into conflicts. It `s naturally. But this means that we must begin to unravel them, understanding what in us prevents us from being harmonious together. It’s important that it’s just the two of us, moving towards".