What to do if you live with your mother/parents in the same area as an adult? Obviously, I recommend that you move out at the first opportunity. But while you are forced to be on the same territory, you will have to learn to negotiate and defend your personal boundaries. Most likely, if you are reading this article, your parents are already violating your personal boundaries. And you have already had experience of living separately, and you already know how things can be different. Remember how old your mother is? And how old are you? I congratulate you! After all, you already have an idea or even experience when your personal boundaries were not violated. Now imagine that perhaps your mother has lived like this all her life - and she has no idea what personal boundaries are and how not to violate them. Moreover, most likely, she is satisfied with this. And while you live with your mother and don’t want her to violate your boundaries, you will have to teach her. Teaching a person who is not interested, has no need, and has no desire is a thankless task, but it is possible. On this path you will have to be patient, consistent and persistent. The process is not fast, but real. And as a result, you will be comfortable living in the same area. So, the algorithm of actions: You need to come to terms with the idea that one conversation will not help you. You need consistency, time and persistence (several conversations and withstanding her emotions, tantrums, anger, resentment, manipulation). To assert your boundaries, you must first set them. Setting boundaries means stating the rules of interaction with you. How will your mother find out if you don’t tell? Determine what you want your mother to do/not do? For example, she knocked when entering a room, or did not call you “sweet pie” in front of your friends. If you tell her the whole list at once, she will go crazy. Even if he wants to, he won’t be able to remember and carry it out. Therefore, choose 1 most unpleasant point and work only with it for a month - let the habit take hold. It’s not enough to voice the rules, you need your mother to agree with them - again, this is not one conversation, but consistency, perseverance and time. If the rules are not followed, they need to be to defend - to put a personal lock on a room, for example. Throughout this journey, speaking your feelings out loud will help you a lot. Those. talk not about others (express claims), but say, for example: “I’m hurt/sad that you don’t hear me.” In order not to fall into a childish state, before any conversation with your mother, mentally say the phrase: “I am so and so old. I’m an adult.” The good news is that if you learn to set and defend personal boundaries in your relationship with your mother, you will learn to set and defend boundaries with any people! Perhaps this situation is just what you need to learn perseverance, consistency and defending boundaries: ) I invite you to my consultation in person and online. I will be happy to help, sign up!