From the author: N. Pezeshkian, the founder of positive psychotherapy, called the conflict between politeness and sincerity a KEY CONFLICT, since its awareness is the key to resolving interpersonal conflicts. Quite often it happens that we are faced with a choice: openly , directly express to the interlocutor EVERYTHING that we think about him, without being shy in expressions and our feelings, or, on the contrary, it is better to remain silent, suppress in ourselves, repress grievances and claims against the interlocutor. We always face such a choice when we become participants in a conflict. If we choose SINCERENESS - an open and direct expression of our dissatisfaction, then this is invariably followed by the destruction of relations with the interlocutor, the relationship is broken, as they say, “to smithereens”, restoring them is enough It’s difficult, even if they are restored, then both of them have an unpleasant aftertaste in their souls. When we make a choice towards sincerity, emotions can take over us so much that we cease to control our behavior, we begin to be driven by anger and resentment. As a result, we spoke out, splashed out our negativity on the other person, but on the other hand, somehow we don’t always feel relief, but, on the contrary, our hearts can be scratched, and you won’t be able to regain the trust and disposition of the other. Choice in the side of POLITENESS - compliance with the interlocutor, silent agreement with him, despite the opposite opinion and desire - is done when we strive, at all costs, to maintain a relationship with another person, we do not want to openly reveal the relationship. As a result of such a choice, the relationship undoubtedly remains, but unspoken grievances and complaints do not let you go and begin to put pressure on you from within. At the same time, your well-being worsens, fatigue increases, and a desire arises to end this oppressive relationship. And now at the reception there is a young family, truly a unity of opposites, he is impulsive, harsh, his sincerity turns into aggressiveness; she, on the contrary, is patient, restrained, silent. I draw an axis for them - on the one hand, politeness, on the other, sincerity. I explain why they do not understand each other and are on the verge of divorce. As I speak, faces become clearer, illuminated by insight. At the next stage, we continue to work on how to balance the balance between politeness and sincerity, on techniques for effective interaction.