I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

They say fear is the body’s natural defense. So everything seems clear. You are afraid to go down a dark alley, but there really may be danger waiting there, so you take the light one, this path is longer, but safer. But what to do, and where do ridiculous irrational fears come from? Are they necessary? and do they really interfere with our lives? or play some role in our lives? We asked Veronika Merkulova, a clinical psychologist at the Vershina Center for Practical Psychology and Psychotherapy, to help figure this out. We conducted a small sociological survey asking people to share their fears. And the psychologist was asked to comment on them. Fear: My mother calls me “smart Elsa.” Like in that fairy tale, when the girl was sent to the cellar to get wine, she saw an ax hanging in the ceiling and began to cry. I was afraid that when she gets married, gives birth to a son, he will grow up and also go for wine, and the ax will fall on his head... This happens to me all the time. For example: a friend and a dear friend (now husband) went to another city on the same bus. But we went to the station in different ways. As a result, my husband caught the bus, but my friend didn’t. And all the time while he, my husband, was driving, I was going crazy with fear that the bus would get into an accident. I thought that my friend might not have caught him, only because his “guardian angel” saved him. Well, etc. Comment: Let's first look at the action of smart Elsa. What is she doing? Sees the problem. And instead of solving it, he begins to worry about the future, which this problem may affect. When faced with such fear, first of all you need to think, can I solve the problem? Regarding the situation described. Then you can no longer influence the situation. And you need to realize this and calm down. Reset your thoughts. If you believe that a friend could be saved by a guardian angel, then why not believe that the man you love also has such a guardian angel. If you believe, then believe to the end. Fear: Fear of the dark, or rather of what it hides. You are left alone at home, everything seems to be fine, and then the fear of the “monster under the bed” strikes. Not robbers, not fire, but a mystical fear of something unknown, some supernatural and evil creature. Moreover, well, you are an adult and you are already over 20 years old, and childhood is long over, but the fear remains.. Comment: This is a natural fear, however, for the period of childhood. And you need to experience it in childhood. Parents should never ignore this fear. If a child says that there is a monster under the bed, then you need to take a broom and drive it out together, and not convince the child that there is no one there. And if fear has grown with you, let's figure out what exactly you are afraid of. After all, it’s not the “monster” itself, but what this meeting brings. This is the fear of death, fear of going crazy, etc. But what if we imagine that this has already happened? No matter how scary it may seem, if this happens, you definitely won’t know about it. Then the meaning of fear disappears. Well, or ask the “monster” for a gift. Fear: Fear that arises from thinking about the size of the universe and realizing the place of all humanity, and in particular oneself, in it. Comment: Fear of the unknown most likely arises in a person who is used to controlling everything in his life. And what doesn’t fit in the head and cannot be controlled causes fear. There is still a moment of significance. After all, how is it that “the universe is so big, but who am I in it? What do I mean in this world? And there is only one way out: to increase your significance through actions, creativity, and to be aware of it. Fear: I'm afraid of sharp objects - knives, needles, etc.. Neither cooking normally, nor embroidering... all through stress! Comment: Again, here the fear is not of the objects themselves, but of the danger they carry. And if it is uncomfortable to live with the fear of this danger, then you need to eradicate it simply by doing what you are afraid of. Try to concentrate not on fear, but on the pleasure you get from the process. It is likely that the pleasure will be stronger, and