Irresponsible people are not always those who avoid responsibility. There is another option: such people are very responsible. You can rely on them, they are punctual, comply with agreements and fulfill obligations. It is very comfortable to work with them - not only will they do their part, but they will also provide backup, and they are always happy to help. But in a strange way, it happens that such people are irresponsible... towards themselves. A neglected apartment, unpaid bills, a chronic runny nose and cough, which have already become a familiar part of life and are not perceived as a reason not to go to work, snacks on the run, personal life and family “put aside” in a distant drawer. When it comes to others, such people are very prudent, but when it comes to themselves, they are surprisingly childish. Why does this happen? One possible reason is the lack of personal experience of such maternal care when the child feels safe. When, in order to survive, he does not need to become an adult and take care of himself (and sometimes, in addition, about his mother) himself. If this was not the case, having become an adult, such a person may unconsciously try to become a “good mother” to other people, and objects for care and guardianship will be chosen in a very unique way (for example, these may be quite adult people, in some respects much more settled in life than he is). In other words, when I see that a person does not have what I really need, something responds inside me, I begin to suffer and try with all my might to give it to him. What is not taken into account here is that one’s own deficit cannot be filled in this way. But by actively being involved in the lives of others, you can take your mind off your pain. And what’s the problem? But, in my opinion, there is no problem as long as the shoemaker himself does not suffer from the lack of boots. It happens very differently - sometimes boots will be given by other people - strangers or those whom he helped with his work. He may accidentally find boots on the street - like greetings from the universe. Sometimes he chooses a life where his boots are not needed (for example, he works without leaving home). The question is rather whether he understands when he needs boots himself and whether he can get them. Or, finally, make them for himself.