Hello, dear reader! If you are interested in this topic, maybe they really have a place in your case, and if at the end of the article you realize that this is not your case – that’s also very good. Let's first look at what a toxic relationship is. A toxic relationship is when a couple has equality in words, but in reality one partner manipulates the other with various unpleasant feelings: guilt, touchiness, stubbornness (please do not confuse it with persistence, because a stubborn person will insist on his own, even if he himself understands that he is wrong), violation of personal boundaries (yes, they can be in pairs). And one always becomes dependent on the other: he himself would be glad to break such a connection, it hurts and unpleasantly, he suffers, but leaves everything as before. So, people meet, find some common topics for conversation, the so-called common wave and begin a romantic relationship. It can be difficult to immediately understand whether a relationship is toxic or not: monitor situations when it seems to you that you have to step over yourself, make a joint decision to your detriment. I’ll say one thing: it doesn’t seem to you. It could be like this: you are a victim of manipulation in a relationship, and you have not yet learned to recognize and, most importantly, defend yourself from such behavior of a partner. Or, on the other hand, you yourself may be the source of toxic behavior, but it’s so difficult to realize and accept this in yourself: “How is it my fault? This can’t happen, I don’t do anything like that.” Why is this happening? I mean, why is it that some people are so self-harming and others are able to be so cruel to their partner and they amazingly form a strong bond? Because one desperately seeks in the other what he lacks most. And this something is so desired that a person overcomes pain just to achieve that desired “I don’t know what.” And the other recognizes it, and clings tightly to it, because perhaps the other person's pain is an object of desire for him. The pain is not even physical, but mental. Both such people could have suffered one childhood psychological trauma or live in a near-traumatic state, that is, when many relatively small but unpleasant events eroded a person like water on a stone. That is, first of all, despite external well-being, these are unhappy people with a wounded psyche, but it should be remembered that none of these people are bad: their behavior is structured from the point of view of protecting themselves from a non-existent threat. And now you know it. How to break this vicious circle? It’s very difficult, and the breakup will be one-sided (on your part or not). If you find yourself a victim, first track what situations lead to manipulation of you, as well as what topics of conversation lead to quarrels, it would seem out of nowhere, but something then it pushes into sharp corners. Then understand how you yourself can get what you are being manipulated with? What emotions do you need most? Usually this is an attentive attitude towards you, warmth from a person. But it can also be material things, most often money. If, having read this far, you clearly understand that this situation is exactly about you - no matter how difficult and unbearable it may be, do not rush into a breakup and do not silently go into the sunset, even if you have already gathered your thoughts and strength. I suggest observing the person for some time (determine a comfortable period for yourself), using the information that you have now received. Discussing this topic with him, unfortunately, will not yield anything - at that very moment you will find yourself guilty and put off the issue of leaving a toxic relationship for a long time under the pressure of guilt. And the circle will close again. In order not to end the article on such a gloomy note, I will say that everything you sincerely want is possible and you can do everything. Maybe you can handle it on your own, or maybe you’ll have to turn to a specialist. This situation is comparable to removing a splinter: you get used to it.!