From the author: The original article is located at: Previously, it seemed to me that help should be provided to everyone and always, to literally turn people into happiness. I was very upset when everything my brilliant, smart advice and articles turned out to be unclaimed and unused in life. During especially difficult periods, I began to hate all the ungrateful people who did not understand what a gift and light everything that I do brings. I swore off doing anything in the future and continued to hate them. But nothing good came from this hatred, so over time I was relieved, and I continued to write again. From time to time I received words of gratitude, warm reviews came to me, and this gave me peace of mind for some period. But I was worried all the time The question is why don’t people take the help that is so generously and freely distributed. It would seem that if you eat, you don’t want to, so why don’t you eat, huh? I’m trying for you, bastard. So that you are happy and successful. And so it bugged me until I found myself at one seminar where I was asked to fill out a questionnaire and list all the issues that concern me. They promised to answer them and give me recommendations for life. I filled out the form and began to wait. And so I waited and waited, but there was still no answer. I have already begun to be angrily indignant and indignant about why this is happening and how I was deceived so much. I shared these thoughts with a person who had already attended this master’s seminar many times. And he told me, “Masha, there is no request for help in your voice.” I say “How can it not? I’m just literally screaming about the need.” And he tells me something like, you are your own question and you need to be in a state of questioning, and not receiving an answer. Then I didn’t immediately understand what this meant. It seemed to me that I needed help, but it turns out that I don’t? But if this was heard by a person who was simply present at the seminars, then the master certainly understood everything. I was indignant for some time, but accepted it as the truth. Because something inside me told me that this was the case. And after some time, it really became very difficult for me, and at that moment I understood what a true request for help meant. I wrote to the master, asked my question, and he answered me. What I learned from this situation for myself is that until a person is ready to hear you, until he really craves help, he will never accept it so much, as much as possible. And in this case, any help will be like food in an already full stomach. Something may go in, but in principle, you need to be prepared for it to vomit. Two parables come to mind. One is about a student who came to the teacher for knowledge. But before teaching him anything, the teacher suggested drinking tea. Only he continued to pour tea into the cup until the water began to pour out onto the floor. The student screamed, what is he doing, doesn’t he see that the water is pouring out. And the teacher replied: “Just as water cannot enter this full cup, so nothing new can enter your head overflowing with knowledge. You must first make room for the old.” The second is also about a teacher and a student who came for advice on how to learn the wisdom of life. In response to this question, the teacher took the student and put his head in a bucket of water. He kept him there until the student began to break free. When the student asked what it was, the teacher answered. “How badly did you want air when you were there?” The student replied that he really wanted to and that was the only thing he could think about. And the teacher said: “When you want to know the wisdom of life as well as the air now, you will know it.” Most people do not seek help. They surf the Internet for advice and ideas, absorb tons of information every day, eat everything in a row: from cats and pink quotes to philosophical reflections on the topic of happiness and life. And they have no need to REALLY solve their problem. Yes, in general, there are some problems. But they turn out to be tolerable. That is, they don'tcomplicate life so much that you are ready to empty your cup and think only about how to find a solution. Not to mention the fact that the advice may be such that it is very unpleasant to follow. For example, take responsibility for your life only on yourself and stop shifting the blame onto others. Why is it so difficult, it’s better to study cats or find something easier. For example, how to increase feminine energy by shopping. Simple, effective, joyful. Otherwise, think about life, do some exercises... That... It needs to be quick and easy. It’s better to relieve pain than to operate. It is better to stick a band-aid on than to rinse. And in this, most people are the same. And I'm the same. There are questions that scream for a solution, then I give it my full attention. And there are questions that hang in the background. Of course, it would be nice if they were somehow resolved, but, in general, I won’t put much effort into solving them. When I “provide help,” I proceed from the assumption that I know WHAT others need. And most importantly, I think they REALLY need this help. But they may not need her. I need her to make me feel smart, important, giving, noble and, finally, an awesome person in all aspects. And they don’t need her. They can easily live as they lived and be happy with their ways of coping with my difficulties. And I realized that helping others in this case is just my expectation. But this is not just my question. This is a big question for all people who teach, enlighten, and convey knowledge. In reality, only a few are ready to accept that their help is not needed by others. This narcissistic vector of the messiah is always invisibly present. How is this not needed? After all, this is something so cool and significant! I spent so many hours poring over this, putting so much effort into it! I know how to do it, but you all don’t. And in general, it is not clear how you live without this bright knowledge and my instructions. Further variations are possible from “Well, take it, please, well, I do everything for you, well, do you want me to also work for you?” to the dismissive - “All the morons themselves do not understand what they are losing, they have missed their happiness, I will go to the mountains to meditate and learn Zen, and let them bite their elbows.” All teachers, trainers, educators, enlighteners need to understand two thoughts: 1. If people need help, they will ask for it. 2. If you insist on helping others, and they refuse it, then, most likely, you need this help more. And now my task is for myself to accept that I will survive even if others do not need anything from me For my part, I have one decision - to survive my powerlessness to convert everyone into happiness (thanks to the great me) and accept the imperfection of life. Each “teacher” goes through his own path of accepting this fact. We are not messiahs to be prayed for. We are ministers to those who need it. And this is a completely different worldview. Inventing your own unique medicine so that people feel the need for it, line up and beg for help. This is an example of an unfed “teacher” who compensates for his importance by people need him. Because if people don't need him, will he remain? Nothing! Who is he without an army of fans and minions? Not to mention the fact that without clients he simply won’t have any money. The ego requires honor and praise. It’s easy to teach others. It's hard not to teach. It's easy to live when you change other people's lives. It’s hard to live your ordinary worldly life, without gratitude and self-destruction. Knowledge must be disseminated, but not obliged to be used. Each person has his own path and his own life. And until he is ready for change, he will remain deaf to any options for help. And if you are worried that he will remain poor, unenlightened and illiterate, then remember that everyone has their own karma, and if he needs lessons, life itself will do all this. Teach, but let others live and choose for themselves what they need now. And if you can’t get over the fact that others don’t need you with your help, then perhaps it’s time to get that help yourself :).