When counseling a couple, first of all, we determine the stages of development of the relationship - see the article “Crisis in a couple. Normal or pathology?” Next, we examine the value sphere of the partners: are there any contradictions couples at the level of values. This article is dedicated to this. Partners can share the value of family, family ties, relationships, family life, a healthy lifestyle, and lifestyle in general. They may be united, for example, by common religious and political beliefs, as well as the same attitude towards material well-being. Other areas of interest: science, art, sports, leisure activities, travel, etc. Spouses can also support their partner’s focus on self-realization in some activity (career), mastering a new social role for him. It is difficult to overestimate the importance of the value sphere for a reliable partnership! But it is not uncommon in psychological practice that we may encounter value contradictions and conflicts among partners. And if we discover such contradictions, then this is a serious obstacle to maintaining relationships. And this is a difficult case for us, psychologists: How can a value conflict manifest itself in a married couple? A value conflict in a family arises when partners have, so to speak, different views on life and life priorities. Here are some examples of such conflicts that have been encountered in practice: Conflict over issues of family traditions and values: for example, differences in approach to family holidays, rituals, raising children, relationships with relatives and friends. Conflict over equality and gender roles: different ideas about how responsibilities and roles in the family should be distributed, what gender stereotypes to accept or overcome. Conflict over ethical issues, for example, such sensitive ones as fidelity, trust, honesty, responsibility. Conflict over the attitude of spouses to work and leisure, balance between work and time spent with family. Conflict over finances: different ideas about how to manage money, what priorities to set in financial matters. For example, free consumption versus the value of financial responsibility and saving. Less often, but in practice, conflicts over religious and political beliefs can occur. If a psychologist encounters a value conflict in a couple, then it is practically necessary to conduct “tolerance training.” Resolving such conflicts can be difficult and requires open and respectful discussion, dialogue and partners’ willingness to compromise. The task of a psychologist is to help the couple develop and accept family rules. For example, these are: Our value differences do not mean that one of the parties has correct beliefs and the other has erroneous ones. Each party has the right to its own opinion and its own understanding of the world. We create and maintain an atmosphere of trust and mutual understanding: we discuss any disagreements openly and respectfully. Both parties can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of being judged or insulted. We find compromises and resolve conflicts together, taking into account each other’s interests and needs. We show empathy and acceptance of each other. We sincerely forgive our partner’s mistakes. Such rules create the basis for a harmonious and trusting relationship in the family. Family relationships are the best tolerance training! If you liked the article, please like it and leave comments! You can sign up for a consultation by calling +7 963 061 08 18 (WhatsApp, Telegram)