For each person, the ideal will consist of his own ideas and unfulfilled needs. In general, an ideal is something unattainable, something that cannot be realized, something that cannot be approached. Therefore, when you rely on some ideal in your quest, this may indicate that you yourself do not believe in yourself. At a deep level, you think that you are not good enough, not smart enough, or not worthy enough of love, and also not worthy of recognition and admiration. So, for example, a very smart man, talking about highly intellectual topics, may sit in the windshield wipers and think, that he is not smart enough. He will continue to demand more and more and more from himself.... read a lot of books, but never realize his knowledge and remain a janitor. Or the opposite effect may work: a person is very smart, deep-thinking, but may not find his calling in the world, because, in his opinion, he is not ideal and good enough. He will experience a monstrous emptiness, behind which stands a state of insignificance, since in reality he will never come to the ideal in his life. And such a person can start drinking in order to feel at least a little relaxed and simply needed by the world. Or a person can stay in one place for a long time in one position at work, outgrow this position, and feel as if an 11th grader is sitting at a first-grader’s desk. Here we are talking about one’s own self-worth. And it is about deep self-worth - the value of me as a creator, my creative component. I do something very well, but there is no recognition in this, there is no one who will notice it, who will give it a place and life. In my subconscious there is someone who either does not notice this, or generally considers it unnecessary and stupid. So, you need to believe in your creator again, believe in your creativity. Remember your creative part as a child: how you loved to sing, draw, dance or something else and find contact with it. Even just a drawing of the sun by a 5-year-old child is something joyful and incredible for him, but for adult eyes it can be a scribble or something insignificant. Or an adult needed to keep the child occupied with something, and he constantly sent him to complete his drawing, saying that something was missing here, something was wrong here, the color was wrong, but this needed to be redrawn. That is, it seems harmless, but an adult watches, for example, TV or is busy with his own affairs, you just need to keep the child busy, and the child perceives this as not being good enough. That is, find that childish creative part of yourself and start highlighting what it is good at. Create a field of love inside yourself and place it there and say, “I’m very interested in what you do, how you explore this world.” You show me, and I will watch and rejoice, it’s so interesting!" And let this child begin to get used to the fact that he is noticed in a good way, out of love. Then the ideal crumbles like a sand house and you begin to rely not on the ideal, but on the field of love in which your creator manifests itself. Slowly, taking small steps towards the goal, be sure to take them, stop, notice what has manifested itself and move on. The ideal is not alive, it is dead energy - the field of love in which it happens. growth and maturity are life itself. Of course, this exercise may not work out the first time and you may have a lot of resistance to your creator, since your subconscious is accustomed to the previous state and habitual beliefs based on personal experience of pain manifestations, beliefs of the collective unconscious. may not let you in. But if you start taking small steps towards any goal where you are stuck and you need to show your creator, notice what is not letting you in and say the right words to your inner child. And gradually you will change your destiny in a direction that is noble for you. And of course, people who are ready to go deeper to understand themselves and change go to psychotherapy,)