To negotiate with people, and even more so with loved ones, we need skills and abilities such as: - the ability to listen and hear without interrupting (active listening); - the ability be guided within yourself by the rule: “stop - think - do”, which helps to curb our instincts and reactive emotionality; - be ready to look at circumstances from different points of view, and not just “from your own bell tower”; - remain sincerely non-judgmental to what is happening, to the interlocutor , opinions, otherwise, be able to: “Mmmm...How interesting?!..” - be flexible, ready to retreat and postpone the conversation if it doesn’t go well, reschedule it for another convenient time for yourself and the interlocutor, be able to take a pause to cool down and let off “steam” before starting a dialogue; - develop the ability to remain during a conversation in the role of an observer who sees both himself and the other and what is happening between them as if from the outside; - feel and realize in first of all, YOUR physical and emotional tension and be able to bring it into balance, learn to relax in the moment, focusing on breathing, inhalation and exhalation helps here, and it is important that the exhalation is longer than the inhalation. And if we are talking about a contractual relationship between an adult and a child / teenager, it is important here that the parent (adult) remains the most conscious and proactive, which is due to the fact that the parent GIVES, and the child TAKES, the parent is the HEAD, and the child is the FEELING and BODY and not vice versa. We give a cry - we receive in response there is screaming, detachment, distrust. We give sensitivity, trust and attention - in return we receive trust, love and gratitude... And now a little about what is behind the screaming and why it can be so difficult to control your emotions? It would seem that they are adults..., but... As a rule, there is not one, but several reasons at once, which together form a concentrate of negative energy of accumulative action: - this is the lack of agreement within oneself, when a wave of contradictions is overwhelming so that being alone with it becomes unbearable; - this is when we expect more from ourselves or another than is possible and begin to compare the real self/other with the created ideal image and, of course, the real self/OTHER does not reach this image, and irritation about this only grows and waits for a suitable opportunities for exit; - this is also the lack of time for ourselves, to realize our “wants” and desires, when our lives are dominated by concerns about others: children, loved ones, clients, colleagues, friends, and our needs are postponed until later; physiological characteristics, compliance or non-compliance with the balance between sleep and wakefulness, rest and employment, overwork and the ability to recover; as well as the influence of hormonal disruptions during certain periods of age and life; these are also intertwining, our connection with the feelings and emotional experiences of our parents, grandparents, ancestors, who passed on to us habitual ways of behavior and relationships towards ourselves, others and loved ones, moreover, we may understand that shouting is wrong, but we feel as if not shouting is impossible; - this is also the lack of the habit of giving timely feedback to another: “I’m pleased with this”, “I don’t like this attitude towards my requests”, which leads to when our emotional experiences remain unexpressed, hidden, suppressed. So, at one fine moment, a drain of emotions occurs in the form of a cry, as a need for liberation from overwhelming feelings of resentment, hopelessness, anger and fear, etc. What to do? First of all, study yourself... your needs... ways of self-expression and self-care: about your body, feelings, thoughts, study techniques of self-regulation, managing your emotions... Form the habit of surrounding yourself with those who find a positive response inside your soul, choose information , music, people who inspire, choose actions and express your love before the ban on the need to express it hides love behind the walls…