Very often, people who come to an appointment are confused about what confident behavior is, aggressive and insecure, or otherwise called passive-aggressive. Today, I would like to write behavioral markers that people can use to test themselves and take the first step towards changing their behavior. Confidence: - the ability to express your thoughts and feelings in a socially acceptable form, that is, without humiliating others - the willingness to take responsibility for your actions - a constructive approach to solving problems - the desire not to infringe on the interests of others. The goal of assertive behavior is self-actualization. For example, confident behavior can be characterized by expressing one’s wishes or asking another person to change in something, this is stated directly. Aggressiveness: - the tendency to express one’s thoughts, feelings and desires in the form of demands and orders, accusations and insults - the desire to shift responsibility for one’s actions on others - the desire to suppress other opinions and assert one’s point of view as decisive in solving problems - the desire to make choices for others Aggressive behavior looks hostile. The goal is coercion and punishment. Uncertainty / passive-aggressive behavior: - inability or unwillingness to directly express one's thoughts and feelings - failure to accept responsibility for one's actions by avoiding choice, giving this right to others - sacrificing one's interests when solving problems - fear of hurting other people's interests from - due to an internal, often unconscious conviction of the hostility of the surrounding world. The purpose of insecure behavior in many cases is manipulation, that is, attempts to secretly, indirectly control others and subordinate them to one’s interests. Passive-aggressive behavior in interpersonal relationships often aims to punish the other person indirectly by inducing feelings of guilt, although the passive-aggressive person's partner fails to blame him for excessive demands, aggression, or a desire to punish. for example, a person does not speak directly about his desire, does it indirectly, with hints, with some fears and anxiety, or does not make any attempts to achieve what he wants: he can simply remain silent. The predominance of the passive-aggressive pattern usually leads a person to dissatisfaction with his relationships with other people, as he is often full of unspoken grievances. Those around him, in turn, begin to avoid contact with him, tired of the feeling of guilt that is a constant companion to relationships with this person..