From the author: Chapters from the book. "Women's successology. How to be the mistress of your life, live with pleasure and happiness" you can read separately printed chapters on the author's website in the "Women's successology" section. Working with clients, we often work on the topic of resentment and the inability to forgive a loved one. Important remember that resentment is a person’s childish reaction to a situation, it is a reaction to building FALSE personal boundaries. At the psychosomatic level, a lump forms in the throat, various types of blocks form in the cervical region. And we also remember that there are strong secondary benefits in offense, for manipulating situations and situations. Most often, before coming to a consultation, the client does not even realize and often does not accept on a conscious level that there are strong and powerful secondary benefits that keep him in a state of resentment and the inability to forgive, and draw appropriate conclusions and develop new styles of behavior with that person. in relation to which you have a grudge, or the opportunity to forgive a person, pull him out of guilt, and yourself too. I suggest you work with a grudge against your father. A sample letter for a father, mother or significant men and women in life whom we want to forgive and complete with them are our internal dialogues, conflicts that take away our attention, strength, and energy. If the father is strict, not attentive, indifferent, pays little attention to raising his daughter, does not spoil her, does not talk about how beautiful, playful, cheerful she is , etc., then gradually the girl develops an Initial Trauma at the age of two or three: “Daddy doesn’t love me,” and a persistent belief, “I’m bad and not good enough.” A girl with a dominant “medulla oblongata - reptilian brain or cerebral cortex” is especially strongly susceptible to such a belief; a girl with a dominant midbrain - limbic system is least susceptible to the introduction into consciousness of such a belief as “I am bad,” and yet such a child may form another belief, “I am not worthy of love,” and throughout her subsequent adult life she will prove or win the right to love. So, gradually, this childhood belief in adulthood forms a persistent belief, “I am not good enough” or “I am not worthy of love.” "This way, a woman will constantly seek confirmation or refutation of her own beliefs, and accidentally heard words from her husband will only provide confirmation of her beliefs. The simplest exercise for releasing a traumatic belief can be done now. Start answering questions honestly, remembering fragment by fragment of the traumatic situation . Include your feelings, emotions, pictures and images. imagine that this person is sitting opposite you, and you now have the opportunity to express all the pain, resentment, and understatement that you had in childhood. You are now stronger, freer, more independent than that child in the past, you now do not have that child’s fear in reality, the fear remains only in your memory. And now, start working with all the burden of the past. Finish the work when a sigh of relief appears, when you feel that the burden of the past has been dropped and burned at the stake of “freedom and responsibility.” 1. ANGER AND ACCUSATIONS I hate it when... I get very angry when... I'm fed up with the fact that... I'm very tired of... I can't stand it when... 2. RESULT AND BITTERNESS It hurts me when... I feel sad when...I feel terrible because...I'm mortally offended that...I'm very disappointed that... 3. FEAR AND ANXIETY I'm afraid that...I'm scared because...:I very concerned that... 4. REPENTANCE AND RESPONSIBILITY I'm sorry that... I'm very sorry that... I didn't mean to... I take 100% responsibility for my feelings, thoughts, images, pictures in relation to of our conflict 5, INTENTIONS AND DESIREI want...I would like that...I hope that... 6. LOVE, FORGIVENESS, UNDERSTANDING, APPRECIATION I love you because...I really like the thing about you...Thank you for that...I'm proud.