In the last article I wrote about how important it is not to stop halfway in order to achieve what you want. But is persistence always for the good? It also happens that a person continues to go where he doesn’t need to go , insist where it is not worth it and do things that are useless or even harmful. Why does this happen, because it seems like a person is a rational being? How do you know when to stop? People can make mistakes. Many factors can influence decision making and choice. Surely you have heard that people sometimes choose goals that are common to the majority or that are fashionable. There is a lot of information about these goals, it is obviously attractive and they become desirable. Attributes of a rich life, money profession, lifestyle choices, fashion items. Everyone may have something different. Such a mistaken aspiration indicates that a person has not learned to listen to himself, his needs, and understand his individuality. One day he realizes that neither the movement towards these goals nor their implementation makes him happy. Or it happens that at some point in his life a person chooses for some reason a certain philosophy, a certain way of thinking. And despite the fact that it interferes with his life, he continues to think in the same way. For example, a person is convinced that using force in education is normal and has never harmed anyone, although this forever harms his child and his relationship with him. Or he continues to eat food that is harmful to himself, believing that he has eaten nothing all his life, although doctors have given clear instructions. Or believe that wealth spoils people, contemptuously rejecting communication with people who can help with work and their own income. Or a doctor who prescribes ineffective medications with side effects and does not recognize new research on this topic. It is difficult to part with beliefs if it has long been a habit, or has been instilled since childhood, and he associates himself with this choice. Like, how can I be wrong, how can I betray my beliefs, I must continue to defend my beliefs as if I were myself. There are also unconscious factors. Habit partly applies to them too. But to a greater extent, the example of parents and the psychological trauma they have suffered are strongly influenced. For example: a seemingly reasonable girl continues her relationship with an abuser because such behavior was accepted in her family. And although everyone around says that this is not worth doing and she herself suffers, she continues. So how do you understand that you are going in the wrong direction? That you won’t find what you want there and stop. Each individual situation has its own detailed answer. In general, we can say that you need to learn to analyze. Oddly enough, in the modern world people often have no time to do this. Life is subordinated to the usual household and work obligations, which occupy almost all the time. First of all, you need to take time for yourself. To meet yourself. And then learn to analyze your actions, thoughts, choices. It would seem elementary. But sometimes it’s quite difficult if no one taught this and showed an example. And sometimes it’s scary, scary to face some thoughts and understandings about yourself. Of course, I won’t surprise you by saying that it’s better to learn this with a specialist. A competent psychologist can teach you this and notice where you are not looking, which is important. Then you will use the skill of self-analysis on your own. If, for some reason, you are not going to contact a psychologist in the near future, still try to take time for yourself and consistently answer several questions: - Am I happy with everything in my life? What do I need to be happy? Why this? What would happen if I had this? How do I feel having this? (if everything here is without contradictions, then move on) - What needs to be done to achieve this? What am I doing for this? Is it effective? What else can I do or what should I not do? What's stopping me? How do my beliefs help me live the way I would like? I repeat, each situation has its own set of questions and answers; those above may be partly not.