From the author: www.mtp.lg.uaInitially, a person learns about his desires thanks to the body. He is, in fact, the body that eats, moves, sleeps, etc., almost immediately after he wishes to eat, move, sleep, etc., he will declare this and will not encounter insurmountable obstacles to satisfaction. It is clear that he is highly dependent and spends his life, literally and figuratively speaking, in the arms of his mother or his other guardians. And this happiness, as a rule, does not last long. Behind him come the days when the human body begins to be denied and taught to control desires. In essence, delaying the moment of satisfying a desire until another, more convenient moment: eat when there is something to eat, and not earlier, walk under oneself when there is a potty, sleep when you can, and not sleep when you can’t, don’t move and not to make noise without permission, to love your own - and someone else's - naked body and its different places when... Or even - which is not uncommon - not to love it at all... Here for the first time the mind suddenly separates itself from the body and its desires: it has to learn new - controlling - function. The mind forms a certain attitude towards the body, and whether it will be positive or negative depends on various factors: sensitivity, receptivity of the little man (his type of nervous system, the presence and level of traumatization, etc.), the influence of what kind of relationship has developed between the body and mind of the mother/caregiver. A mother can hardly bear everything related to obedience and disobedience, cleanliness and order, and besides, she has long ceased to love her own body and its desires. The human body, in turn, also has to learn new actions: to hold, restrain, endure, and - let go, switch. And this is also influenced by certain factors: external (behavior patterns of parents, loved ones, for example), internal (type of nervous system, temperament, etc.). There are people for whom it is easy to restrain themselves in desire, and then let go and get what they want at the right time, in the right place, but for many it is difficult for one or the other, or even both are problematic. For example: everyone knows the type of person who, as the Russian proverb says, harnesses for a long time, but rides quickly. Everything would be fine, but - speaking of external influences - he can meet and live in the same family with a person who, for example, tends to rush and make people laugh. It is not yet known how they will get along... One way or another, new relationships begin to be created between the mind and body of the still small person. And under a confluence of unfavorable circumstances, these relationships do not work out well. A person can get to the point where he becomes afraid of his own, seemingly yesterday, unconditionally loved body, which still wants everything the same as before, but is now forced to be restrained and restrained. Of course, such a division of mind and bodies and a new relationship between them are not formed overnight. But it seems that some mothers are not aware of this, because they demand - and sometimes harshly - from their one-year-old and one-and-a-half-year-old child to control his spontaneous actions. In reality, a truly controlling function will begin to form in him only around the 2nd year of life, when the time comes to potty train. Then you can begin to demand something from him, and even then not right away. Starting from the second year of life, going through numerous episodes of collision with himself and others, the child practices mastering the science (or maybe the art?) of control. And it very much depends on the parents that this period does not turn into hard labor for him. And before that, for at least his first long year, he was freed from responsibility for exercising control over himself. The problem of control is most clearly depicted from the position of interpersonal, and to be more precise, intra-family relations. And I don’t want to give an unambiguous answer to the question of who primarily benefits from it. Control means conscious control.