Yesterday at a session with my regular client Denis, a very serious, reflective, responsible young man, continuing to explore the relationship between masculine and feminine in his personality, the results of his homework, his new awareness , came up with a topic that has long occupied his inquisitive mind, “how to please a woman?” And Denis began to assume that women like aggressive, strong men, ambitious, creative, those who are the center of attention in the company, jokers and merrymakers, etc. And what is he? - He is not aggressive, on the contrary, calm and kind, caring, loving children. - He has never been ambitious, did not participate (and did not want to participate) in the race for success. - At work, he is a good, reliable performer, which is increasingly and more often, to Denis’s pleasure, his supervisor praises him, but Den does not generate ideas like some of his colleagues, creative young scientists. - In a company, he usually sits in a corner and is silent. He pretends that these stupid sexual jokes “below the belt” are funny to him, but he doesn’t like them at all. And to some (he was told) he seems sullen or even angry. One of my favorite things to do with clients is to become their advocate against their overly harsh inner critic and teach them to become their own advocate when “that critic of theirs, Fantômas, goes wild.” And I love the moments when a person begins not only to understand himself better, but also to understand that he is really cool, that the best thing is to be himself and enjoy it. Remember? “To be, not to seem!” And I told Denis with absolute confidence how wonderful he was. And that men like him are also liked by women. But he needs exactly the woman who will appreciate him as a person with his unique “gentlemanly set.” I told him that he is a very attractive brunette with a neat, manly beard, beautiful, penetrating eyes and a charming smile. What many women appreciate is when a man is kind, caring and loves children. That not all people are ambitious and want to become great leaders. And it’s great to realize this and understand that being a strong, reliable, high-quality performer is cool. Such people are in demand in any job or project. Some generate ideas, others bring them to life - and this is well-coordinated teamwork. In society, “ambition, creativity” and other similar “ideals” zombify the fragile consciousness. But in fact, I told Denis, it’s not necessary for everyone to be creative, but, nevertheless, he’s just a creative guy - he writes fantastic texts with such a flight of creativity that you’re amazed. In addition, he dances, and this is also a manifestation of a person’s creativity, his vital libido. This is where you can be creative and have a blast. I also suggested that such an interesting man like him, modest, a little even mysterious, with a sense of self-esteem, silent, not a buffoon, not laughing at vulgar jokes, can actually make a lasting impression on women with its thoroughness, thoughtfulness, and mystery. And if on his face there is not a frozen mask of boredom, uncertainty, discontent, but a wandering half-smile coming from within, from the understanding that he is cool, then he will be completely irresistible. And you know, Denis liked his verbal portrait of my authorship. He took himself homework to continue researching this topic, and essentially himself. After all, getting to know yourself, the real one, is a most exciting activity for any person, I tell you. And start to realize that you, just as you are, natural, with your true nature, you are actually a good guy: smart, kind, strong, attractive - this is worth a lot. And you don’t need to pretend to be someone else, showing off with pick-up artist tricks to lure a girl into his “trap for simpletons” for one-time sex. You just need to be yourself, live, enjoy life and look around,!