From the author: This article was written based on the results of working with women in individual and group work. We are talking mainly about using the association deck “Union of Goddesses”. Even a little experience in working with deck archetypes allowed me to see amazing results! At the reception, a woman about 47 years old with her 15-year-old son. “My son is getting fatter, starts drinking alcohol, and still (she reports after a telephone consultation) sucks his thumb.” The woman is attractive, smart, and well-spoken. The child's father lives in two families. Everyone knows about it, and everything remains the same... for almost 20 years now. At one of the consultations, she reports that when her son was born, she was not even allowed to go outside. - Why not end this situation? - I ask. “He won’t let me go... In her eyes I see hopelessness, a dead end... Another woman who knows how to make money, who bought an apartment at the age of 35... “I owe him a lot... he pulled me out of a difficult situation... I have a good relationship with his mother..." - she is trying to justify the fact that for 15 years she has been living with a man who insults and beats her in front of her 12-year-old son, has multiple relationships with other women, practically without hiding, who forces her to earn more and more, and controls all expenses. - What's going on in your relationship? - We have such close ties with him... we love each other... I'm trying to get him out of alcohol addiction... I'm trying to endure... I'm waiting... I hope... Do I need to continue this list? Good family. Husband, two children. She is only 35-36. We went through many difficulties together. But you have to work at a job you don’t like in order to somehow stay afloat. This job does not bring in much income, but social. package, trips to camp for children... and I really want to do what I love, create, fly with happiness, dance... growing daughters are increasingly giving cause for concern... “I am worried about being overweight. As a child, it seemed to me that I was unworthy of the love and attention of boys. It’s hard for me to look in the mirror...” But here’s a common situation: “I separated from my husband, now I have to work a lot, my parents are taking care of the child. I feel not like a mother, but like a sister to my child. My mother (father, grandmother) says that I could not save the family, I am a bad mother, I do not have the right to have relationships with other men, I must arrange my life and leave the child to her” - everyone can continue this list. Many come with children who have somatic disorders: enuresis, nervous eye twitching, obsessive movements. Every time in the mother’s eyes one can see surprise from the realization that the reason for this is not the child’s psychotrauma, but partly the mother’s experiences. What unites these completely different stories, behind which are destinies, suffering, losses, grief, disappointment? In the process of therapeutic work, labyrinths, crossroads, closed spaces, darkness, “black holes”, emptiness, basements whose floors are strewn with bones often appear in the drawings and images of these women, there is often a lack of air, headaches and chest pressure. Old women also appear who brew a potion or console, or young mischievous girls who start galloping on horses without fear of anything. Darkness, blackness, pain, fear, dead end, stone rooms without doors, chest pain - a typical state of mind of women, girls, girls who have experienced psychological trauma, violence, strict control from parents or eternal reproach, emotional coldness. The connection between generations is lost. There is no continuity of women's knowledge through legends, tips, transfer of experience, support. There is no that brave girl on a horse and that wise old woman who brews a magic potion of knowledge for her family. It seems that there is no way out, that this situation will last forever. There is no more strength, no hope... But this is not so. A very important and subtle point - all resources are within us. But we spend years searching, trying on social roles, trying out masks. It goes something like this: - I will be the best mother in the worldand I will give all my strength to the child, I will devote my life to him (them). - I will wait for THAT man who will give me energy (money, an apartment, a lot of time for art, who will take on all my problems). In the meantime, I will live “with what I have”... at least it can be changed at any moment. - I will give my strength to serving people (I will go to Jehovah’s Witnesses, study to become a psychologist-astrologer-healer-palm reader). Let everyone know about my spiritual purity. - Animals are the ones who are worthy of my love. Everyone else is just men. This is not a complete list. The principle of searching for a resource is clear. But the expected resource never appears. Men remain men, children still get sick or behave antisocially, your mother expresses more and more dissatisfaction with your life, for some reason another diploma in education does not make you happy... However, a memory from early childhood of how the boy from the next bed is in the hospital ward He let him play with a toy, and then took it away, and the boy’s mother cynically commented: “That’s right, there’s no point in taking someone else’s!”, a memory that is already more than 30 years old still causes unbearable pain, tears of resentment flow, anger crushes... ……. What happens to a tender rose bush that has just picked buds if it falls on rocky soil, in icy cold, or in strong wind conditions? All the same things that happen to subtle, gentle, creative feminine energy that finds itself in an emotionally cold family, difficult life trials. As a rule, we receive injuries in deep childhood (remember the incident with the toy that was taken away). They can be different in significance (a branch of a rose was broken, sudden frosts killed all the buds, all the branches of a bush were cut off, leaving only the root part, etc.). The same thing is observed in life, from resentment over a toy to sexual violence. The damage in all cases is colossal, but we can fix it. New branches will grow, the bush will again be covered with buds, and if the conditions are right, the buds will turn into beautiful blooming roses, fragrant with fragrance. I will not say who plays the role of gardener for each of us. So, we have come close to the main topic of conversation - the topic of female initiation. At first glance, everything is simple. A girl grows into a girl with the arrival of menstruation, then becomes a woman with the acquisition of sexual experience, and then she is a wife, mother, daughter-in-law, mother-in-law or mother-in-law, grandmother, old woman. However, small initiations occur constantly, at all stages of development. Often we get stuck at a certain stage of early life or adolescence. Fixing a traumatic experience at the age when the injury was received precisely determines our psychological age. And what age do you think the phrases given at the beginning of the article can correspond to: “He won’t let me go”, “I will save him and endure him”, “Now is not the time to dance, you need to get busy”, “Stop looking at yourself in the mirror ! Nothing can be fixed”? But let’s return to the fact that everything has the ability to be restored. Our psyche has enormous resources. So how can we restore this most valuable feminine energy? How to go through, albeit belatedly, all the stages of initiation? I will risk giving some advice, which is not new at all, but has not lost its relevance in this matter: - there is no need to be afraid of mental pain. Trauma can only be dealt with when we dive deep enough into it and allow ourselves to soberly assess the scale of what is happening. - do not believe the myths that re-experiencing trauma will cause even greater trauma. This is wrong. And moreover, a person will unconsciously constantly create similar traumatic situations for himself if he is not aware of their source. - remember your talents and creative gifts. Every woman has them, even if her mother (husband, lover, children) says otherwise. - realize how much time you spend on yourself, on your creative activities, body care, self-knowledge and spiritual development? How much would you like to spend? - the best way out of depression is to do everything creatively. Creatively cook soup every day for your growing son (for example,!