Many women are probably familiar with the situation when they want to love and be loved, but, as they say, you can’t help but want. And it hurts because it’s hard to believe that it’s possible again, because there’s a fear that it will hurt again, that something won’t work out again. Men also experience similar feelings, but the nature of these feelings is different. And if we take a closer look at the fears of starting a new relationship, we can see that a man is afraid to try again, to make another attempt, primarily because he is afraid of being rejected. And a woman is afraid to enter into a new relationship because she is afraid that she will not receive the care that she expects. But if we look at the situation, based not only on the differences between the female and male psyches, but even deeper, we will understand that behind this fear lies the most key obstacle that prevents both men and women from starting new relationships - this is the fear that is associated with only one thing - the inability to experience negative emotions. But no matter how paradoxical it may sound, we are able to experience positive emotions and feelings, including love, only if we can feel and experience negative emotions, such as anger, resentment, anger, because all emotions and feelings are interconnected. Therefore, the only way to start a new relationship with a clean slate, as if you had never been hurt, is to fully experience the pain, all the negative emotions that remained from the previous relationship. At the same time, we are not afraid, we are not in a hurry, but we experience as much as necessary in order to really let them go, and not drive them into a dark and unnoticeable corner of our soul. Very often in my consulting practice I come across the fact that women say: “...I forgave him a long time ago...”, “...I’m ready for a new relationship...”, but life somehow doesn’t work out either repeats the same scenario. This suggests that the healing of the soul did not take place properly and grievances and complaints remained, although quite a lot of time could have passed since the separation. And this affects new relationships. Therefore, without experiencing the pain of a past relationship, you can leave the scar unhealed forever. That is, if the heart is not completely healed, every time you try to enter into a new relationship, it will bleed again. There is an expression - time heals. This is true, time really heals, but only if you experience these emotions and do not suppress them. How long it takes to “heal” from a past relationship depends on the depth of the relationship and the individual’s individual characteristics. But as different as we are all, we have a lot in common. Therefore, we can assume some average data on the experience of the stages of separation. And there are only four of them. The first stage is the tearing off stage, the term is rough but precise. It lasts from two weeks to two months. At this stage, the first thing you need to do is allow yourself to cry. That is, experiencing negative emotions to the end helps us regain the ability to experience positive ones. Cry as much as you want, and in no case restrain yourself. It is normal if during this period a woman faces a deep need to cry every day, this is pain that breaks out. This is absolutely normal. The most important thing is not to fall into deep depression, so friends, people who love us unselfishly, are the support that we so need in these two weeks. The second stage is called acceptance. It lasts from two to six months. At this stage, the situation is accepted as it is. There are much fewer tears, but a “breakthrough” can occur once every two weeks. Life forces begin to take over again. Hope appears. The third stage is called healing. It can last from six months to a year. By this time all the grief and all the anger has been expressed. Life is returning to normal. Here are the signs: you no longer feel such uncertainty, incomprehensibility in life, obscurity. Hope!