They recently asked me a question ❓When you have to leave therapy, is it possible to leave if you understand that you can handle it on your own? In short: no, forget it. In detail, therapy is not about solving problems, you can learn to find ways out, regulate affects, control feelings and emotions, be able to build good and close contact with your needs and with the world around you, but this is a side effect of therapy, oddly enough. The main one same-relationships. Long-term, stable and trusting relationships in which it is safe even if you show your anger and aggression to the therapist. The ability to build and maintain such relationships is the most important skill. Therefore, global therapy should never end, these are not consultations with a psychologist. Therefore, here everything depends on the goal and need - support is psychology, relationships are therapy. How to check therapy or consultation with you? Have you clarified your relationship with the therapist, did you clarify it, did you manage to express the negative and hold on after that? If yes, congratulations, this is therapy. If no, then you are at the consulting level. Everyone needs a different depth of contact, so the type of interaction with a psychologist depends only on you and your needs. As one therapist I respect said: if the client has nothing to tell during sessions, then it’s time to sort things out. The skill of clarifying relationships is key to achieving that happiness that everyone talks about, but few people have, because most anxiety, stress, fear, anger and resentment arises precisely because it is impossible to clarify the relationship, for various reasons, of course. For example, it is scary that they will not understand or will understand in the wrong way. Or even worse, they will think that I care about this! Such humiliation cannot be allowed in any way, so I myself roughly understand and know what they will answer me, I will be better in contact with this information than with the real world and a real person. Here the contact with my need is interrupted, it seems like there is an impulse, there is a recognition of the desire to clarify situation, but fear and shame blocked it. But the tension remains. And where is it safe to learn to express this whole complex of feelings and desires? With a specially trained person who knows how to do this himself and will help you discover this skill. If you want, of course. I don’t advise, but I help. The first step towards a good life <3