From the author: According to the Karpman triangle, a person can come in three forms that mutually influence each other. Being an addict, a person comes to therapy with the goal of resolving his difficulties, and otherwise healing his Child, Parent and becoming an Adult. About how to interact with the inner Parent. This article is suitable for both real parents and those who are faced with a conflict within themselves. It all starts with the Child. This is the part of us that is responsible for the manifestation of emotions, freedom of creativity and self-expression - for our desires, i.e. our WANT! Everyone knows the joke about a difficult childhood, a slippery window sill... A difficult childhood, in the context of the topic of the article, is when a Child WANTS, and a strict Parent forbids. Since we are talking not only about real children and parents, but about roles that exist in the psyche, such a construction can exist in one person. If a person has lost his taste for life, the specialist understands “Trouble with the Child” and the work begins with healing the inner Child. But parents are also not perfect, and in order to resolve the conflict between the Child and the Parent, it is necessary to correct the inner Parent. Parenting styles in general come down to 1. authoritarian (the child’s wishes are ignored, the parent always knows what’s best for him), 2. permissive (the child is left to his own devices, sometimes literally abandoned), liberal (the parent gives a lot of freedom, but the child lacks support and vector (goals), the parent supports the child in his desires, but does not guide) and 3. democratic (parents recognize the rights of the child, but also educate responsibilities, instill discipline, encourage success). Depending on what style the real parents adhered to, a certain type of internal Parent is formed. The pure type is a rather rare phenomenon, well, unless both parents are alcoholics ( conniving type) or tyrants (authoritarian). As a rule, parents are complementary (if we are not talking about mature relationships), for example, one is a tyrant, the other is a liberal. These same combinations are preserved in our psyche, forming the figure of the INNER PARENT. If a person was raised authoritarian parents, then a prohibitive tyrant parent will be formed inside him; if he was given a lot of freedom, then the inner Parent will allow a lot, but from time to time the person will find himself in a situation of shortage (of funds, time, etc.), because he lacks the ability to manage freedom in the form of money and time (he lacks organization, self-discipline). Well, if there is also an internal conflict arising from the relationship of real parents, a person will suppress the qualities of one or the other as unacceptable, but if accept and balance them, then you can become effective. How to grow an inner parent by creating a democratic educator? I suggest you remember the marker phrases for the Child and the Parent. The main phrase of the child is I WANT! A child is a symbol of desire, and life begins with him. Parent phrases: If the Parent is permissive, then this is an absent (silent) Parent and he literally needs to be created. This is a big and very difficult job. If the Parent is a democrat, then you are in luck! In fact, the essence of “re-educating” a parent comes down to the formation of a Parent who will interact with your inner Child in a democratic way. So, there are two types that are most often found. Favorite phrases authoritarian parent: “You can’t!”, “I know better what you need!”, “Do as I said!”, “You never know what you want!” etc., etc. The phrases of a liberal parent sound differently: “I will accept any of your decisions”, “I completely trust you”, “Do what you want!”. It is clear that the liberal style is closer and warmer to us, but the fact is that there is heat, but no control. An authoritarian, on the contrary, has complete control. The democratic style is exactly the desired golden mean - there is warmth and acceptance, and there is a need for control, assistance in decision-making and their correction.T. o., the task of an adult is to educate his inner Parent so that he uses.