Narcissism is an interesting topic that popular psychology has distorted beyond belief. A narcissist is some kind of terrible someone who nightmares everyone and everything with his prickly and vile character, while seducing him with a bright set of manipulations. But in fact, normal narcissism is inherent to each of us to one degree or another. In this context, it is the part of our personality that wants love and recognition. Is this bad? No. In case of violations in the field of narcissistic need, various (varying degrees of severity) violations in the personality sphere can already form. How does this happen. The initial need for parental unconditional love is not satisfied to the extent that the child needed it. The child tries in every way to earn this love. He tries to be an ideal child, but still does not receive the love he wants from his parent. Or, on the contrary, he is over-praised by his parents and placed on a pedestal, and he does not receive feedback on his own mistakes. He may even feel that some parental phrases do not quite correlate with his real achievements. In both cases, a distortion is formed in the perception of one’s image. In the first option, the child thinks that he is bad, because no actions have allowed him to achieve love; in the second - that he is too good, but when faced with real life, such a child often hits his nose painfully when his real abilities may fall short, and those around him tell him about this. This also greatly undermines self-esteem. In both cases, the narcissist has a fantasy of how he should be - grandiose, great. But there is no understanding of what needs to be done in order to appropriate this grandeur and greatness for oneself. There is a form, but the content remains unclear. And an internal squabble with oneself begins, since the level of what is desired and the level of actual achievements often diverge. On the plus side, there may also be a fear of starting something in order to achieve what you want. Fear arises due to the fact that for a narcissistic personality it is extremely difficult to experience shame, and criticism from the outside is perceived very painfully. Therefore, often narcissistically organized people choose as a partner a person who has qualities that they would like to assign to themselves (smart, handsome, successful, etc.). But at the same time, envy arises towards the partner at some stage (it may not be aware). This envy gives rise to aggressive attacks. Therefore, the cycle of idealization - devaluation is quite typical for people prone to narcissism. They love in another those parts that they want to develop in themselves, idealizing the partner; they subsequently devalue the partner and attack him in order to cope with feelings of envy towards him. At the same time, considering the personality of another person next to them becomes an almost impossible task..