Awareness of the goal is half the solution to the problem At the beginning of the consultation, I usually ask: “What is wrong now? And what do you want instead?” Why is this so? This is the most effective format, given to us by solution-oriented short-term therapy. When a person finds himself in a crisis situation, such as a divorce or breakup. Or when the relationship has gone wrong and is about to collapse. A person experiences a whole palette of emotions and immerses himself in it. There the search begins, who is right and who is wrong? How did you even come to this? Who did what wrong? But does this give the desired result? Do relationships improve with this approach? No, unfortunately, no. It is more important to ask yourself: “What do I want? And what can I do for this?” If the desired goal is too far from you, break it down into subgoals. The main thing is that it should be achievable and inspiring. Well, it was yours, of course. Often the mistake is just hanging on the problem situation itself. Thoughts run in circles, and everything is about the same thing. In psychology this is called rumination. And there are techniques for such a scourge. If you notice this feature in yourself, please contact us for a consultation. I will be glad to help. One of the techniques for self-help can be freewriting. Set the timer for 20 minutes. Take paper and pen and write down everything that has boiled down. You pour out all your irritation on paper, all your disappointments and resentments. Every thought, even the most insignificant. This way you unload the emotional space. You are freed. And as soon as the timer rings, stop. It’s the same with an action plan - it’s better to write it down. So that you have concrete steps before your eyes. You can make a diagram or a roadmap. You will notice how anxiety and tension will decrease when you write everything down. You no longer need to keep it in your head and be afraid of forgetting or confusing something. We thought about it once and wrote it down. If you would like to change something, please do so. But you don’t have to hatch a plan in your head. Write it down. How do you find the optimal way out of the situation? And have you noticed that you get stuck on a problem situation rather than finding a solution? You can sign up for an online consultation with me in any messenger using the link: https://taplink.cc/psycholog_online1