In a situation of high uncertainty and stress, many of us experience strong emotions, which has a direct impact not only on us, but also on communications with people around us, sometimes putting our relationships with them at risk. In this article I want to briefly describe situations that we may encounter in communication and figure out what we can do to ensure that they do not affect our relationships with loved ones. Conflict as a way of releasing emotions When people are faced with strong emotions, they It can be very difficult to deal with them on your own. Often in such situations, our emotional part of the brain takes control and “turns off” the rational part according to the principle “there is no time to analyze, we must act.” As a result, if control is not returned to the rational part in time, our actions under the influence of emotions may be irrational and not always constructive. One of the destructive ways to release emotions for relationships is emotional conflict. Communication in such conflicts is characterized by a high degree of emotionality and can take the form of shouting, insults using obscene language, etc. As a rule, conflicts used to release emotions do not have a real subject and are used to defuse tension. Sometimes the real subject of the conflict may be present, but discussing it in the form of an emotional conflict is difficult due to the form of communication. The danger of an emotional conflict is that if it escalates further, it can potentially turn into violence (emotional and physical). The likelihood of this dynamic depends on several factors (temperament, degree of awareness, level of emotional stress, specifics of relationships, environment, etc.). It is important to remember that emotional conflict does not have a rational solution. That is, it is impossible to agree and come to a mutual decision within the framework of an emotional conflict. What to do? We connect the rational part of the brain with questions “What is my goal now?”, “What is the person’s goal?” We focus on the text (information), and not on emotions: “What exactly does the person want to tell me? Does this information directly relate to me and how can I take it into account?” If it is possible to take a break and leave the communication, then we do it. For example, we agree to return to this issue a little later, when both sides of the conflict reach a more balanced state. If this is not possible, then we stay in a rational position as much as possible: we realize what is happening, analyze our state, think about our goal. If the conflict turns into any form of violence, we withdraw from communications. We remember that emotions will subside, but relationships may already be destroyed. Value conflict Value conflict is a conflict of worldview, value systems and points of view. The value system is the core of our personality and is the result of upbringing and accumulated life experience. It reflects our idea of ​​what is right and wrong, good and bad for us, and is a kind of coordinate system in decision-making situations and assessing situations. A value conflict is typically sticky, painful, and involves us emotionally. Why does this happen? In such a conflict, each participant, as a rule, has a positive intention to share his recipe for happiness, to tell the other how to think, feel, and assess the situation correctly. Each participant can sincerely believe that “his truth is more right” and, if you convince another person of this, he will “understand everything”, this will make his life, situation, world, etc. better and more correct. At the same time, each participant can perceive denial of his value system as a threat, as a devaluation of his worldview, the right to think differently. Each participant may experience rejection, feel that their boundaries are being violated, and this may cause them to feel anger and desire.