I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

I would like to touch on such an important topic in consulting as a client’s request. The client’s request is what he wants to get as a result of working with a psychologist or psychotherapist, the task that is set before him as a goal. A well-formulated request is one of the important conditions for successful counseling or therapy. Unfortunately, few people come to see a psychologist with a thoughtful and well-formulated request. Most often, the client is ready to throw out everything that has accumulated in his soul on the psychologist. In professional language this is called a complaint. As a rule, clients share how bad they feel (difficult, offensive, don’t like it), and someone (husband, wife, parents, children, mother-in-law, boss) acts badly (not nice, does not do what is expected of him , but quite the opposite). And they really hope that the psychologist will somehow influence them, correct them (fix them, explain them), or, in extreme cases, share a secret or a magic word with the client. Sometimes it happens that the client understands that something is wrong in life, but cannot figure out what exactly it is and how to get out of it. Therefore, the task of the psychologist at the first consultation (and sometimes one is not enough) is to help him move from a complaint to a request, to understand and formulate what they will work on. “A request is a specification of the form of assistance the client expects from a consultation” (Stolin, 1989) The trick is that the real problem can be disguised, hidden under a layer of other difficulties. This is a kind of “matryoshka request”: you open one, and there is another problem, a second, a third. The main thing is to understand what is important for the client. A conversation with a client and a variety of questions helps us find a request. And, of course, metaphorical cards. I’ll give you one client story. Margarita came to me (personal details changed, consent received) - a woman in the prime of her life, attractive, quite successful in terms of her career. When making an appointment over the phone, she identified difficulties communicating with her daughter as a problem. However, during the meeting during the consultation, the client’s emotional state came to the fore. There were many tears, and she herself could not explain their reason. It was difficult to identify a request to work on. To begin with, she suggested working with portrait cards and openly choosing pictures that in some way resonated with her idea of ​​herself, her daughter, and her husband. She selected two cards for each family member. I asked her to describe the chosen characters. The result was very telling images. Client cards: a woman about 30 years old. She observes more than she acts. In many situations, he does not know what to do, often waiting for danger, maybe even a blow. Waits for manifestations of love, but does not receive. This one seems to be smiling, and her eyes are pleading, with a prayer (I still don’t understand what she’s begging for). Lives with the feeling that you need to keep a smile, otherwise you will not be in demand in society (especially in the profession). He seems to be a strong person, but on the other hand he is unprotected. Cannot enjoy life. Cards reflecting the image of the husband: a square man. Angular. The corners cannot be smoothed out. Die-hard. Large neck - cannot be grabbed, cannot be turned, invulnerable. Like a wall. A grown man, but in his eyes a child. He behaves in such a way that I treat him like a child. If something is not according to him, not according to plan, he will still achieve his goal. You are left with a feeling of emptiness after this. Daughter’s cards: a very beautiful girl, but for some reason with sad eyes. Why? She is a home child, sees the relationship between her parents, subtly senses falsehood, and perhaps wants to reconcile them. There is a lack of freedom and confidence. The girl has orange hair - sometimes she is a bright child. And at the same time, she is afraid of this brightness, afraid of being independent (with such a dad, I would be afraid too). She’s very capable, but for some reason she doesn’t want to be creative. I treat my daughter as an equal. The husband is on top - information comes from him: where to go, where to go, what to do. And we resist. The husband dominates. I ask him not to do something, but he doesn’t listen.]