Seneca, following Cleanthes, argued that those who want are led by fate, and those who do not want are dragged. Many of us will immediately imagine a pebble in our face, agreeing that we belong to the latter category. Carl Jung saw that people see the manifestation of fate where they do not understand its mechanisms. We have to choose which camp we are in: among those who are walking or those who are dragged by events, tearing their face and knees bloody; those who blame themselves for failures, or those who blame fate for all troubles. Choosing the party to take responsibility for one's destiny involves action. It is inherent in the very formulation of the ancient Greeks. In this case, the verb “to want” implies “to act.” If you don't try, you won't know. Someone becomes uncomfortable, or even scared, from these words when he tries them on himself. Well, you can defeat a giant by turning him into a mouse, as one cat in a fairy tale said, who loved to wear boots. Do not immediately write a letter of resignation from your job. Try returning home via different routes. Get used to that verb “try.” Play with small changes. This is a pretty reliable method. It is used in science. First, an experiment is carried out in laboratory conditions, and then a setup for serious testing is created. We'll have to act. This is the only way to know what we want. Perfect pitch for conductors, musicians and tuners of musical instruments. Some mechanics determine its condition by the sound of a running engine. These people know how to listen. A person who decides to control destiny also needs to learn to listen: to himself, to those around him. He will have to become the tuner of his own destiny, he will have to muster the courage to listen to the world with which he needs to interact. Some people remember themselves from the age of five, for others, memories begin from three. Sometimes the first memory is associated with some event that seemed significant for the child. By this age, a person separates himself from his mother, and outlines of his fate already exist. It is the mother who makes them. The baby first identifies himself with her. He has not yet seen his face, but he knows her face, feels her emotions. These are exactly what he experiences after her. At this time, the first fitting of fate takes place. She is literally in the hands of his mother. For him at this time she means satiety, warmth, safety. If the child receives all this on time, then a stable connection arises between his desires and their fulfillment. If feeding is late, or the child experiences discomfort, he learns the algorithm of submitting to someone else's will. There is a risk that in the future, he will obey circumstances. Within the framework of predestination, it is quite convenient: family traditions, patterns of behavior, tastes. A person acts according to the protocol drawn up before him. He has instructions on what to do in any case. He may not like the imposed way of life, but the person does not understand that he is not the author of this structure of behavior. He chooses clothes and food that his parents and wife approve of. He knows what they will like. But he doesn't know what he personally will like. It has already merged with the matrix. And accepts other people's desires as his own. This happens until a person realizes that he can change his life. A simple and at the same time complex question arises: how to understand this? In words, in theory, we are all strong. Common truths are on the surface, but they do not always become ours. It turns out that they, like goods, lie on the counter, we see them, but we cannot reach them. Responsibility for your actions? We are responsible for them. It may happen that these are not our actions. This is what our loved ones, colleagues, and acquaintances do. How do we understand that these are not our actions? One of the markers is lack of interest, boredom. The second is a feeling of internal tension. Let's try to reinterpret a famous fairy tale. Since childhood, the mother chose panama hats in pastel colors for her daughter. She instilled in her the idea that bright colors were provocative and dangerous. A girl in a bright hat will become noticeablefrom afar. But my daughter liked the red riding hood. And one day she bought it. Amazing stories began to happen to the girl. She met the wolf and the woodcutters. “If you hadn’t worn a bright-colored hat, there wouldn’t have been any trouble in your life,” her mother told her. “Nothing at all would have happened in my life,” the girl answered. Since we are talking about wolves, it is appropriate to remember that they sometimes overcome flags. But this example is good for extreme cases. The impetus for realizing that you are not living your life can be a strong shock. As a result, one of the links that held back the usual way of life disappears. Such a shock can be dismissal from work. A person is forced to act. He may have to take non-trivial steps. Deviation from the usual scheme expands the range of possibilities. How do modern composers manage to create original compositions? After all, so many geniuses worked before them. How do artists paint pictures with new subjects? How do writers find new forms of novels? How do they manage to break free from the influence of their great predecessors? The authority of parents and environment dominates every person. Many people manage to cope with this. How to understand what you want? To hear your own thoughts, you need silence. Have you ever noticed how, when you come to the seaside on vacation, at first you continue to live in the rhythm of the city? Worries go away only after a few days. Perhaps you need to take a break, away from authority. You don't have to go to a desert island. In reality, such a possibility may not exist. This means that we must make do with the means that are available. This generally concerns the assessment of real possibilities. At thirty years old it is unlikely that you will be able to achieve success in ballet. Imagine that with the light of one spotlight you illuminated what you want to get. You can indicate this with symbols. Another mental spotlight shines on what you can do. If the spotlight meets in one place, this is the point of coincidence of your desires and real possibilities. Risk is not always associated with champagne. When the prospects for change are outlined, possible mistakes are not mentioned. What if you took a risk and didn’t gain, but lost? It was a boring job with a constant salary. No prospects were promised, but no shocks were foreseen. This position is called the “comfort zone”. Many do not dare to leave it. When you take action, you will have to give up illusions. We are convinced that we will always be in demand on the labor market, that at any moment we will be able to get out of a difficult situation, open our own business, and master a new specialty. It is human nature to calm ourselves down. We will have to accept that many such declarations will turn out to be a bluff. Our knowledge is partially outdated. We may not have the ability to do business. Nobody wants to find themselves bankrupt in a professional sense, and literally too. It is difficult to decide to find out your real worth on the labor market. Many dreams can be devalued. A person who is in a comfort zone still hopes to someday change his life for the better. He can even set deadlines for when he will start doing things. Time passes, deadlines are pushed back. It seems that he has a spare life. A person who holds this position must realize that change always involves some risk. And his job is to reduce this risk to a minimum. He can work through every move and provide backup options. Many people know how convenient it is when others solve problems for you. Some people don't need independence. You can trust your parents, spouse, or the state to take care of yourself. Own responsibility is reduced to a minimum. Having assessed the positive aspects of such a strategy, think about whether you are really ready to control your destiny? Or will you hand over the reins to others? The owner of his own destiny makes decisions and bears responsibility for them. Perhaps you are satisfied with many things in your situation. You want to partially change your life. Decide what you want to achieve. According to this, divide.