A man? Parents? Friends? Boss or colleagues? All this is about shifting responsibility “I feel bad because he left me” (you feel bad because you are focusing all your attention on the breakup, but you need to switch your attention to what will bring you positive emotions and development) “I I’m waiting to meet a prince who will provide for me, because a MAN MUST!” (a man is a person and doesn’t owe you anything, you can earn and provide for yourself on your own - this will bring you independence and happiness) “I am like this because I had a difficult childhood” (my childhood happened and passed, and now you are like this because it’s easier to follow old neural connections, but you can form new ones and not depend on childhood) “I can’t act / react differently, because this is Me, and people don’t change, as we know” (people change, both externally and internally, just for the sake of something needs to be done about this) “I’m crying because my life is meaningless and I can’t find a man who will become my meaning and make me happy” (a man won’t make you happy, you use him for a while as a crutch, and then your hormone levels will drop and you will be unhappy again, so first you need to find happiness in solitude) “I suffer at my job because my boss is an asshole” (you suffer because you cannot assert your boundaries at work and communicate, and you also need to learn how to do all this to leave places where you feel bad) And so you can continue ad infinitum. All changes in life begin when you realize that the responsibility for you and your reality lies only with you. All dysfunctional childhood problems and attitudes can be changed to functional ones. Thinking can be changed. Your perception can be changed. Your reality and environment can be changed. You can do anything! The only question is, what are you doing for this? If you don't change anything, then nothing will change. The logic is logical. There are a lot of options - from careful changes with a psychologist in long-term therapy, to independent work on yourself (reading books, new healthy habits, giving up alcohol, meditation, keeping a diary, changing your environment, changing jobs, and so on)