How to turn malicious swearing into a constructive conversation At a recent training on emotional intelligence, we talked a lot about anger. We are used to viewing anger as a negative emotion. Quite often, participants come to me for training on emotional intelligence and say, “I want to stop being angry.” Meanwhile, anger is an emotion that is given to us to protect boundaries, achieve what we want, and change the situation the way we need it. Anger gives a lot of energy for action. It is only important to direct it in a constructive direction, otherwise the energy of anger can destroy relationships, opportunities, and the person himself. I want to share with you a powerful communication technique that will help turn any brewing dispute into a constructive conversation. The technique is called “paraphrasing” - “from claim to proposal.” It sounds very simple - replace a complaint or reproach with a wish or suggestion. For example, when we are angry or offended by someone, we tend to pour in complaints and reproaches: “why don’t you ever clean up!”, “you’re late again,” “I’m in furious because I spent all my money on...”, “I can’t rest with you.” Try to think about what you want to change, what behavior you want to achieve when you swear? And say about this: “I get angry when I see a mess . Please take it away." “I’m worried that we won’t have enough money - let’s save money for food in an emergency reserve.” “I am currently studying in addition to work, so I need some rest. Cook dinner yourself or order pizza." You can react in the same way to furious complaints directed at you: "You're tired and angry, it looks like you need a rest. How can we organize it? “Are you angry and worried that we won’t have enough money before the end of the month, let’s think about how we can earn more or save money?” In fact, this is why we are given the emotion of anger - to achieve what we want, what we need, rather than pointlessly ruining relationships. Let's use it for its intended purpose )