Lovebombing is an interesting, tiring and dangerous type of abuse. Who doesn’t like compliments? How can admiration be dangerous? What is lovebombing? History of the term The literal translation of lovebombing is “love bombing.” This is a manipulative tactic. The bomber “bombs” the object of “love” with gifts, affection, and sings praises, but not out of high feelings or kindness, but in order to make the partner dependent. The term “love bombing” has been used at least since the 1970s. The word has a clear negative connotation and goes back not to love slang, as it might seem, not to family psychology, marketing, advertising, but to the Unification Church, more precisely, a controversial religion founded by South Korean religious leader and businessman, political activist and billionaire Sun Myung Moon . Her followers, the Moonies, used excessive flattery and admiration, trying to attract new adherents. Why is love bombing interesting? The interesting thing about the phenomenon is that it combines the incongruous: love and bombing, where manipulation is presented as sincere manifestations of love, affection and attention. Usual behavior The “bomber” takes the form of broad gestures, showering a person with praise and gifts. But all this goes beyond, excessively. Why is love bombing tiresome and dangerous? Love bombing is considered offensive behavior and a form of emotional abuse. At first, such attention, admiration is flattering, compliments motivate, and the relationship inspires trust. Everything seems wonderful, the victim begins to believe or thinks: “How lucky I am!” However, do not delude yourself. It's all too good to be true. After flattering seduction, disappointment will come. The true goal of manipulation is social isolation, emotional control and complete dependence of the target of the “bombing” on the manipulator. Those who were in the role of a victim will say that the “bombs” hit their low self-esteem and made them feel special. After a certain level control is achieved, the bomber usually withdraws and begins to resort to other forms of emotional abuse, such as gaslighting. Most often, this pattern of behavior is observed in people with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder. Expose and disqualify the manipulator The worst thing for a bomber, as for any manipulator, is to be exposed. For him, this means devaluation and deprivation of power. Collapse. How to bring it to clean water? If you feel that something is wrong in your romantic partner's motives or behavior, pay attention to the following signs. The manipulator:• showers you with gifts to make you feel indebted;• regularly reminds you of what he has done for you;• is attentive, gentle, but excessively to the point of seeming intrusive;• constantly praises you, more often in public, but in private nagging;• jealous, wants you to spend all the time with him;• bombards you with messages;• uses any mistake you make to make you feel guilty;• tells you what you should feel or think;• believes himself and convinces you, that he is special and many (including you) want to get him;• seeks constant confirmation of your devotion;• inspires that only you can trust him;• behaves patronizingly, as if he knows that he is the best thing you had in life;• takes on the role of messiah to satisfy his importance;• does not like it when you tell him “no”, but ignores your boundaries, arguing that he is acting in your interests. After some time, you notice that the manipulator begins to force you to obey, but you explain his bad behavior by the fact that “he loves me.” And if you don't do what he wants, he pulls away. If you've noticed warning signs, this article may help you. If the situation has gone too far, you cannot do without the professional help of a psychologist..