“First of all, I am strong and smart, and only then beautiful and feminine.” I was raised to be honest, flexible, beautiful and friendly. Mom was glad that I didn’t get her rebellious character, which she herself had a hard time with. She tried to give me everything that was included in her ideas about the “ideal woman”: musical education, pleasant manners, beautiful clothes. Fashion magazines were often updated in the house, which were supposed to instill in me a sense of beauty. Mom sewed well, and dressed up not only my dolls, but also me. I remember an incident in the garden when the boys called me “frying pan fashionista.” Then for the first time I felt that being different from others was not right. I never dreamed of being a mother and wife. I hardly allowed anyone to pay for me in a cafe. The first rule of the family is a separate budget. Without realizing the reasons, I was convinced that depending on a man was a fatal mistake. Two parts always fought within me: a good girl (wife, mother) and a person free from prejudice. In my first marriage, I tried to be flexible, but this only intensified the internal conflict . It was difficult for me to say what I wanted. Because I had no idea what kind of stuff I was made of. Closer to 30, I had two children, 9 years of marriage, 2 educations, a director position in a family business, a large apartment in the center of Izhevsk, and a complete lack of understanding why I live. The ice moved thanks to dancing on the pylon. I started exercising and my body became stronger. Energy appeared and I wanted to direct it in the right direction.⠀So I came to gestalt. I became freer. But even here I remained misunderstood. One day I decided to cut my hair and told the therapist: “this means that I no longer need to please men.” This surprised the male therapist; he did not understand at all what he was talking about. I have always been outraged by the sacrifices women make in the name of beauty: operations, diets, complex outfits. It seemed to me: if a man loves you for your appearance, then this is not your uniqueness, there will always be a woman younger, more beautiful or silicone. I finished Gestalt training in Moscow with a round belly, being already in my second marriage. In the capital, the air seemed freer, but even here I came across caustic remarks from authoritative men: “they say that women with altered hormonal levels are not adequate.” It turned out to be undesirable to speak freely even in the conditions of Gestalt therapy. One day I decided to watch the “Super Mommy” program on TV, which was commented on by a famous male psychologist. I was outraged by every phrase he said, in which he either criticized women or dictated how to raise children correctly. It boggles my mind how women allow men to teach them about motherhood! Later I found out that there are men who are breastfeeding specialists. And even smart women listen to them. I have always tried to meet the standards. And she hid her insolence and rebellion from herself. Frankly, even now I’m afraid to express thoughts that go against public opinion. But in general, I feel a lot of support from my family, from the man I love. Children respect me for my courage to apologize and be the wrong mom. Clients see in me honesty and freedom to be a vulnerable therapist. And I began to understand more about feminism! Having gotten rid of prejudices, I discovered that feminism is a healthy movement of women free to BE THEMSELVES! What do you think about feminism?