Have you noticed exactly what feeling or sensation in your body makes you think something like: “I like him, I want to see him again,” “I feel good with her, I want to continue.” ⠀Maybe it’s “butterflies in the stomach”, strong excitement or, on the contrary, relaxation? Or do you feel very warm and calm next to a person? Maybe excitement and inspiration are awakening? Through this feeling we learn that with this person we could become a couple and this could be a very good relationship.⠀What happens next? We begin to get closer and in order to preserve that first experience for as long as possible, we “close our eyes” to those things that do not suit us.⠀In this place, recognition also occurs, but recognition of pain, resentment, loneliness, and we really want them to avoid, right?⠀Ignoring “bad calls” and wanting too much to maintain the illusion of an ideal partner, we risk getting very hurt and ending up with nothing.⠀The better we understand our needs and know our own characteristics in choosing a particular partner, the sooner we can recognize relationships in which we are likely to feel bad and will not go there.⠀This helps save not only time, but also our self-esteem and psyche from new traumatic experiences.⠀"I tend to choose emotionally distant, cold men. At the same time, I feel bad I tolerate being ignored. I tried in every possible way to remake myself, to adjust, so that they would stop ignoring me and treat me with love. It is clear that this worked to the detriment of my personality, but there was no result? Now I have learned to ask myself questions, and not evaluate and judge. “Valya,” I ask myself, “this guy has already canceled your meeting twice at the last moment. Is this attitude right for you?"⠀The answer to this question allows me to choose without judgment what is best for me.⠀Of course, it does not eliminate disappointment, sadness, annoyance and even anger from not meeting again. But! These experiences are bearable and lived through faster, leaving hope for a new meeting.⠀PS How do you understand which partner is right for you and which is not??