There are days when you don’t want to open your eyes. It seems that there is no strength to get out of bed, cook breakfast, go to work, or talk to people. I want to cover my head with a blanket and sleep until obligations force me to reluctantly get up and get down to everyday business. It seems that inside is empty, there are no desires and emotions. I am haunted by the feeling that everything is falling out of my hands. The life around us seems dull and uninteresting. And those events that could have brought pleasure or joy yesterday do not evoke any response in the soul. This is how the day passes by inertia. A dull evening is coming, you want to quickly fall asleep, but for some reason you can’t sleep. My soul is cold and sad. Sadness, melancholy, spleen, depression... In psychology, there are many classifications of depression of varying severity, intensity and nature of origin. On the one hand, depression is a natural reaction to some life situations, on the other, it can signal psychological problems. This article reveals some important aspects of depression that will help you understand how natural depression differs from pathological depression that requires psychotherapeutic help. The reason why a depressed person is not able to experience the joy of life is that most of the mental energy is involved in the unconscious conflict and resistance to the inability to realize desire. Depression is often characterized by a feeling of being “as if in a dream”, when the outside world ceases to have the same meaning and meaning. Such depression can be associated with the death of a loved one, separation, divorce, loss of well-being - home, work. Psychic energy seems to be fixed on a lost object, which, on the one hand, cannot be returned, but which is also impossible and unbearable to abandon. Such an internal struggle eventually becomes exhausting, and the psyche goes into “energy saving mode.” Everyone experiences this kind of depression in life, as it is a natural part of experiencing grief due to loss or separation. How successfully we overcome this stage depends on our history of loss. The way out of such depression can be the acceptance of one’s helplessness in the face of reality - the realization that what has been lost cannot be returned. For example, a young man broke up with a girl on her initiative. Experiencing a breakup, he plunges into a depressed state, is sad and does not communicate with friends, but continues to go to work. And soon, having come to terms with the loss, the young man begins to return to an active life. Another cause of depression may be a decrease in self-esteem associated with dissatisfaction with oneself. Every person has a conscious or unconscious ideal image of himself, formed in childhood and adolescence. At different stages of life, this image of the ideal “I” may differ from the real sense of self. And if a gap arises between the desired and subjectively real idea of ​​oneself, which seems impossible to overcome, and all attempts to reduce it have not been successful, self-esteem decreases and mental activity is inhibited, since it seems devoid of meaning. The person becomes passive and becomes depressed. In this case, reconstruction of ideas about oneself can help. For example, the husband initiated the divorce. This came as a surprise to my wife. Not only is she experiencing a separation from a loved one, she is also experiencing the loss of her image of herself as a married woman, because in her mind, a woman is successful and happy only if she is married. This confrontation with the inability to maintain an ideal image of herself causes her depression. Over time, she will come to terms with the loss and find meaning and joy in her single life. The main features of melancholic (severe) depression are the loss of self-esteem resulting from rejection, which turns into feelings of guilt, inferiority and self-blame. If with ordinary depression associated with the loss of a loved onea person, the significance of one’s own “I” decreases, and the inner world seems to be empty (“I seem to have lost a part of myself”), then with melancholic depression, one’s own importance increases, but is filled with self-loathing. The person is focused on the feeling of inferiority. Such sensitivity to rejection is associated with childhood experiences, “blows” to self-esteem in early childhood. A predisposition to severe types of depression is formed when an infant, whose life is completely dependent on the benevolence and love of the mother, systematically does not receive the care and nutrition he needs. At first he is worried and angry, shouting for his mother to come to him. If she does not respond to signals, then the baby’s anger is replaced by a feeling of fatigue and helplessness. Having screamed until exhaustion, the baby falls asleep. If this situation is repeated day after day, then the baby stops screaming and becomes passive - this is infantile depression, following the painful discovery that you are not loved. Psychoanalysts believe that it is this shock and the baby’s fixation on the feeling of helplessness that is the most common predisposition factor to severe depression in adult life. An example of this kind of melancholy is postpartum depression or clinical depression in any of the above examples - separation, divorce, death of a loved one . What one person experiences naturally, for another can become a trigger for a serious illness. But even if in infancy a person’s needs were met to the required extent, finding himself in a chronic stressful situation in adulthood, any person can become depressed. As already mentioned, depression can be compared to a state of fatigue. Physical exhaustion due to stress, overwork or illness is often accompanied by depressive feelings. A depressed person is disappointed in himself, has lost incentives and has given up, but not on goals, but on the pursuit of them. He's tired. A physically exhausted person is incapable of any effort. And here you need to understand what reasons caused the exhaustion, try to eliminate them, rest and in the future avoid prolonged stress. Depression has many incarnations. It is sometimes difficult to recognize it. For example, sometimes in an attempt to defend against the helplessness that causes depression, a person demonstrates denial of its causes - excessive joy and activity. This manic state is the flip side of depression. It happens that depression puts on a “mask”: outwardly a person lives as usual, communicates with people, goes to work, but begins to worry excessively and for no apparent reason about his health, overeat, sleep poorly, or overly dramatize situations that did not bother him before. A person A depressed person can benefit from his condition, most often he does not realize it. By demonstrating his suffering, he seeks to arouse self-pity and ultimately receive the approval and care that nourishes him. Sometimes depression is used to justify aggression. Having expressed anger, a person experiences a feeling of guilt and punishes himself by plunging into passivity until aggressive impulses break out again. Thus, the vicious circle closes. Depression can and should be treated. As with any disease, it is important to catch it and neutralize it in time. Depressed mood, loss of joy, interest and pleasure from once-loved activities, loss of strength, the feeling that “everything is falling out of your hands,” a feeling of personal inadequacy - all these are signs of depression. Sometimes it is enough to listen to them and analyze what events preceded this state, what feelings the event caused, what real desires were not satisfied and, perhaps, decide to change something in your life. If depression is associated with the death of a loved one or separation, then you need to remember that this, on the one hand, is a natural stage of grief, and on the other, do not forget that it should end with acceptance of the loss. Unfortunately, with depression.