Let's start with the question: is it necessary to support a man at all? On the Internet you can often find two versions of the answer to this question. Some write that a woman should support and inspire a man and thus she makes a man out of her man. Feminine energy helps a man to open up and realize himself. Without female support, a man is empty energetically and is not able to achieve high results and develop spiritually. Others say that a man is an independent adult who is capable of setting goals, achieving them and being charged with energy. And if a woman wants not a son, but a real man, then she needs to choose a ready-made option that is self-motivating and does not need support. And excessive support discourages a man. In this matter, as in most others, I use the principles of the golden mean and an individual approach. The golden mean is that a man also needs support just like a woman, the main thing is not to turn support into maternal care, into pity and does not become a pusher for a man (that is, a woman who is trying to move something heavy and, perhaps, tightly stuck). Individual fit means that all men are different, and each of them has their own emotional needs: some need support more, some less. In order to feel support and love, one man needs affection and tenderness, another needs warm words of support, some admiration and compliments, and some a delicious dinner and a fresh shirt in the closet. Support is a way to express your love to a man. And the main thing is to find the right approach. Give exactly the support a man needs now! And do not believe that a real man is a man who always achieves his goal, does not make mistakes, does not experience resentment or disappointment, does not worry and does not proudly accept support and help. This is more about superheroes from films, who can hardly be called real men, because they are not real, but fictitious. What you should not do if you want to support a man: Pity is the worst way to support. The word support itself implies that a person is being held from below, as if pushing him up, helping him to grow and develop. Pity is a look from top to bottom, the look of a strong, intelligent person on a weak, unreasonable person. Pity deprives a person of strength and faith in his capabilities. Pity elevates the one who feels sorry and lowers the one who is pitied. “Don’t worry,” “don’t be upset,” “don’t worry.” These phrases indicate that we devalue a man’s experiences. We kind of tell him that it doesn't matter, it's not worth being upset about. We let the man know that his feelings are wrong. Tips. A very common mistake that both men and women make when communicating with each other, with children, with parents, with colleagues, with friends... It seems to us that practical advice is the best way to support a person. We want to immediately offer a ready-made solution, or rather, we want to solve the problem for this person, because we know better what is best for him to do. At the moment of failure, a person needs to cope with his feelings, and not receive a portion of instructions on how to do it better. Be even more upset than a man. Fall into despondency and begin to suffer: “How are we going to live now?!! It's so awful! How are we going to get out of this?!!” Is this familiar to you? Many women sincerely believe that this is how they express their sympathy. Although usually this only intensifies a negative atmosphere, in which it is even more difficult to make a decision and resolve the problem that has arisen. How can you express your support to a man so that this does not lead to conflict and misunderstanding? Each man has his own way. It is important to find exactly the one that is close to your man: Just be there. The method is so simple that many simply underestimate it and therefore miss it as a support option. Being there could be as simple as coming home early with!